We are continuing in our discussion of the halachos of yichud as they apply to a katan. We learned that one can be meikil for yichud if all of the katanim involved are under the age of bar or bas mitzvah. However, once one of the parties is over bar or bas mitzvah, it will depend on the age of the other katan. Once a boy reaches age nine, the halachos of yichud will apply to him, and once a girl reaches three, the halachos of yichud will apply to her. These ages can present a problem when it comes to babysitters, and one must be mindful of these ages.
However, regarding babysitters, there may be workable solutions:
- If it is a time that people are around, a reshus harabim nearby and an entranceway leading toward it (pesach pasuach l’rishus harabim);
- If a neighbor has a key and can come in unannounced;
- B’shaas hadechak gadol, possibly a closed circuit video camera system. One should not rely on this heter without consulting a rav.
Another possible solution may be a shomer. The concern of yichud is that the individuals will do something inappropriate. However, if there is a third party present who will not be drawn into the situation, but can report on what they see, it removes the yichud, because the two for whom there is yichud will be uncomfortable to do anything inappropriate. This third party is known as a shomer. some primary examples of a shomer are:
- If a married woman’s husband is in the same city as her, she may be in yichud with another man (e.g., repairman at home). This heter is known as ba’alah ba’ir.
- If a married man’s wife is present with him, they may be in yichud with another woman (even though generally, a man may not be in yichud with two women). This heter is known as ishto imo.
- A child, who is old enough to understand and talk, but does not yet have a yetzer hara, can serve as a shomer. This is understood to apply to a child between the ages of approximately 5 until bar or bas mitzvah. Such a shomer can work even for a close relative, such as a parent. Once the child reaches bar or bas mitzvah, they can no longer be a shomer because the halachos of yichud now apply to them.
Summary
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- One can be meikil regarding yichud if all of the katanim involved are under the age of bar or bas mitzvah.
- However, once one of the parties is over bar or bas mitzvah, there will be a problem of yichud if the other party is a boy over nine, or a girl over three.
- Some workable solutions to the yichud include:
- A pesach pasuach l’rishus harabbim
- A neighbor with a key would can enter unannounced
- Possibly a video camera (one should not rely on without consulting a rav)
- A shomer
- Some workable solutions to the yichud include:
- Some of the three situations where a shomer can help avoid yichud:
- Ba’alah ba’ir
- Ishto imo
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- A child from the age that they understand and can report what they saw, until bar or bas mitzvah. This age is assumed to be from age 5.
