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Rephael Cattan

1340 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 13) – Direct Conflict Between Kibud Av v’Eim and Other MItzvos

We are beginning siman 13, where the Chayei Adam will discuss direct conflict between kibud av v’eim and a mitzvah. If a parent tells a child to transgress a mitzvah asei or lo saasei of the Torah (i.e., even when the parent wishes the child to transgress a mitzvah passively, such as not to put […]

1340 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 13) – Direct Conflict Between Kibud Av v’Eim and Other MItzvos Read More »

1339 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 12) – Financial Outlay is from the Parent 4 – Understanding the Underlying Logic; Introduction to siman 13-15

 We are finishing siman 12 and need to clarify the concept of mishel av and mishel ben. Any time we discuss a mitzvah, a person is obligated to spend up to one fifth of their money to do the mitzvah. For example, the mitzvah of tefillin is fulfilled by wearing them. Buying tefillin is only

1339 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 12) – Financial Outlay is from the Parent 4 – Understanding the Underlying Logic; Introduction to siman 13-15 Read More »

1338 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 12) – Financial Outlay is from the Parent 3 – Conflict Between Work and Kibud Av v’Eim

 We are continuing in siman 12, regarding children providing financial support to their parents. We learned that If the child has absolutely no money, he is not chayav to knock on doors in an effort to collect for his parents. However, if the child has enough to support himself but not enough to share with

1338 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 12) – Financial Outlay is from the Parent 3 – Conflict Between Work and Kibud Av v’Eim Read More »

1337 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 12) – Financial Outlay is from the Parent 2 – Supporting the Parent

 We are continuing in siman 12, where the Chayei Adam introduces the concept of forcing a child to financially support their parents. We have learned that the child’s chiyuv does not stem from the mitzvah of kibbud av v’eim, because the chiyuv of kibbud av v’eim only includes acts of service. Rather, the chiyuv to

1337 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 12) – Financial Outlay is from the Parent 2 – Supporting the Parent Read More »

1336 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 12) – Financial Outlay is from the Parent 1 – Kofin on Mitzvos

 We are beginning siman 12. As we mentioned in the previous siman, the Chayei Adam writes that the financial outlay for kibud av v’eim is the responsibility of the parents, and the child’s chiyuvim are only the acts of service. Thus, for example, the child may be chayav to feed their parents, but the expenses

1336 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 12) – Financial Outlay is from the Parent 1 – Kofin on Mitzvos Read More »

1335 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 11) – Parents Causing a Loss to Children 3

 We are continuing in siman 11, where the Chayei Adam is discussing a parent causing a financial loss to a child. We have learned that a child may take steps to prevent the loss from happening, even if it will cause the parents a level of distress, when the child knows that the parents do

1335 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 11) – Parents Causing a Loss to Children 3 Read More »

1334 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 10) – Parents Causing a Loss to Children 2

 We are continuing in siman 11, where the Chayei Adam discusses the extent of the kavod one must have for their parents.   The Chayei Adam continues, and writes that there are actually two opinions regarding how to understand the extent of the chiyuv of kibud av v’eim in respect to parents causing a child a

1334 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 10) – Parents Causing a Loss to Children 2 Read More »

1333 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 10) – Parents Causing a Loss to Children 1

 We are beginning siman 11. The Chayei Adam discusses the level of kavod a child must have towards their parents even when the parents are not acting appropriately.  The Chayei Adam writes that the extent of kibud av v’eim is such that even if one is wearing expensive clothing and sitting as one of the

1333 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 10) – Parents Causing a Loss to Children 1 Read More »

1332 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 10) – Correcting a Parent

 We are beginning siman 10, where the Chayei Adam discusses situations in which a child needs to correct their parent. Although the child needs to take on the role of the teacher, as it were, it is inappropriate for the child to see themselves as above the parent nor to give off the impression they

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1331 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 9) – Dementia

 We are beginning siman 9, where the Chayei Adam discusses a painful and pressing issue. Many people end up in a situation where their parents grow elderly and care becomes challenging. The Chayei Adam discusses the extent of the chiyuv kibud av v’eim in these situations.  The Chayei Adan writes that one whose parents have

1331 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 9) – Dementia Read More »

1330 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 8) – Mora Av v’Eim 4 – Calling a Parent by Name

 We are continuing in siman 8, where the Chayei Adam discusses the parameters of morah. We left off discussing calling parents by their first names. The Chayei Adam writes that one may not call their parents by their first names. The issue arises, however, when another person asks a child for their parents’ first names.

1330 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 8) – Mora Av v’Eim 4 – Calling a Parent by Name Read More »

1329 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 8) – Mora Av v’Eim 3 – Ignoring a Parent’s Request

 We are continuing in siman 8, where the Chayei Adam discusses the parameters of morah. Yesterday, we discussed when it is muttar to disagree with a parent in the context of conversation. There is another facet to this question, which regards when a parent asks a child to do something.  In the mitzvah of kibud,

1329 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 8) – Mora Av v’Eim 3 – Ignoring a Parent’s Request Read More »

1328 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 8) – Mora Av v’Eim 2

 We are continuing in siman 8, where the Chayei Adam discusses the parameters of morah.   The Chayei Adam writes that a child should not disagree with a parent’s opinion. For example, when a parent is in a discussion with someone else, the child should not say ‘the other person’s opinion makes more sense’, and certainly

1328 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 8) – Mora Av v’Eim 2 Read More »

1327 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 8) – Mora Av v’Eim 1

 We are beginning siman 8. The Chayei Adam will discuss the mitzvah of morah, fear. In the same way the Torah gave us the mitzvah of kibbud, the Torah gives us the mitzvah of morah as well. Primarily, kavod primarily refers to mindsets and actions a person should do, while morah refers to actions a

1327 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 8) – Mora Av v’Eim 1 Read More »

1326 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 7) – Standing for Parents 2

 We are continuing in siman 7, where the Chayei Adam is discussing the chiyuv to stand up for one’s parents. The Chayei Adam qualifies that, although one must stand up for their parents, they only need to stand twice per day, once in the morning and once in the evening. However, if after having already

1326 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 7) – Standing for Parents 2 Read More »

1325 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 7) – Standing for Parents 1

 We are beginning siman 7, where the Chayei Adam discusses the chiyuv of kimah, standing up. In the same way a person has a chiyuv to stand up for their rebbe, they have a chiyuv to stand up for their parents as well.   The Chayei Adam writes that one must stand up for their parents

1325 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 7) – Standing for Parents 1 Read More »

1324 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 6) – Kavod After Death 3

 We have finished siman 6, where we learned about how kibbud av v’eim applies after death, and how the primary way a child can bring kavod to their parents is by acting properly.   Many times, disagreements arise when two aveilim want to daven for the amud as an ilui neshama for a niftar. Regarding these

1324 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 6) – Kavod After Death 3 Read More »

1323 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 6) – Kavod After Death 2

 We are continuing in siman 6, regarding kibbud av v’eim after parents have passed away. We learned that one of the forms of kibbud after death is reciting kaddish. However, kaddish is not the only way for a child to demonstrate kavod. Other forms of kibbud include giving tzedakah, learning mishnayos, and receiving aliyos (especially

1323 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 6) – Kavod After Death 2 Read More »

1321 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 5) – Kavod B’Dibbur 2

 We have finished siman 5, which discusses kavod through speech. The Chayei Adam gave the example of using one’s father’s name when others will respond to it positively as a way of bringing kavod to their father.  The Chayei Adam mentioned previously the importance of looking at one’s parents as among the greatest of the

1321 – Kibud Av v’Eim – (Klal 67 Siman 5) – Kavod B’Dibbur 2 Read More »

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